Paul Michael Maughan
Maughan family ecstatic to announce the recent bolt-on acquisition of Sophia Ann
VINCENT PALOTTI HOSPITAL, CAPE TOWN, 3 November, 05h40
In a year with much political, financial and emotional uncertainty, the Maughan family has decided to be “greedy when others are fearful” and have completed the 100% acquisition of Sophia Ann. In the terms of the deal, Sophia Ann will now be renamed Sophia Ann Maughan.
Sadly the cancellation of the BAG M&A Deal of the Year means that this announcement will not be analysed by the panel of Coronation experts. Nevertheless application for the R50k winning prize will still be made based on the excellent deal rationale listed below!
Deal Rationale and Terms
- Sophia Ann Maughan will be acquired for R0 but has already been valued as priceless. Now that is what I call synergies people!
- The Maughan family will provide 100% finance to Sophia Ann Maughan for the first 18 years but with the option to continue until such time as Sophia Ann Maughan becomes profitable. Finance can be withheld if not available at the time or if the investment exceeds a set monthly allowance or if disciplinary action is being undertaken.
- Sophia Ann will spend the first 6 years significantly influenced by Lee-Ann Maughan. The years 6-12 will see Paul Michael Maughan carrying significant influence. She will then be too cool for them and spend the teenage years significantly influenced by her chosen friends. After 18 years, Sophia Ann Maughan will need to decide how to proceed.
- Sophia Ann Maughan will receive 33.3% of the NAV of the Maughan family when it ceases to trade. This means that Patrick Frank and Joanna Kate will have their shares reduced from 50% to 33.3%. This percentage will change in the event of any further bolt-on acquisitions.
- Sophia Ann Maughan, after spending one night at her Vincent Palotti head office, is now headquartered in the closest room to the Maughan family. Space has already been created with the recent move of Joanna Kate into Patrick Frank’s office.
- Opex is expected to rise due to the necessary renovations to Patrick Frank’s office, which includes many more touches of pastel and Hello Kitty.
Recent comments on the deal
“Sophia means “wisdom” – who doesn’t want more of that?!” Paul Michael Maughan
“3 girls versus 2 boys – bring on chick flick DVD nights!” Lee-Ann Maughan
“33.3%??!?! Are you being serious?” Patrick Frank Maughan
“Where is baba Fia? I hold her!!!!! I hold her!!!!!” Joanna Kate Maughan
Future looking statement
The Maughan family knows that there will be moments of brilliance combined with moments of poor decision making by all parties, but is nevertheless excited for this era. “We are grateful to God for this precious little bolt-on acquisition. She is actually not ours to own but we promise to love her unconditionally no matter the investment required or the losses incurred.”
Paul Michael Maughan